This post is probably more thoughtful than helpful, I'm not sure. I'm thinking right now about my current situation and the longstanding wish that I've had to be able to pursue the cult legally. They have made it very difficult to do so. I was trained from a young age to behave in ways in the aftermath of being accessed that guaranteed that forensic evidence would disappear by the time I recovered memories. One case in point is from 2012 when my handler left a spray of wine on my ceiling and some of her hair in my bathroom. I was so focused on other problems that I didn't notice either of these pieces of evidence around and wouldn't have known what to do with them in the first place until I'd already recovered the memory of her being here.
But, as I've recovered, I've done what I can to protect myself and others in terms of filing police reports. There is one event so bad from my early 30's I'm not sure what I might do about it. I was put in a bad situation where I was compromised along with a friend and some underage children I had never met. At the end of the ordeal, I had to be taken to the hospital to get my stomach pumped after handler #3, Mark Holsinger (former Homeland Security), poured motor oil down my throat through a blue oil change funnel.
I was taken to Baylor Scott and White Hospital in Pflugerville/Round Rock Texas. The nurse indicated to me that their story was that I was attempting suicide, which wasn't true at all. They checked me in under the assumed name of Miles Ellis. I don't know who paid the hospital bill but I assume there may be a record of my being there. Not sure and not sure how I would access it given that I had not transitioned or changed my name at the time the incident happened. How do you call medical records and tell them your name is legally changed but you want records on being admitted to the hospital under an assumed name? I don't know.
I could just call and say "This was my legal name at the time, but they may have used another one". Obviously a fake name would've meant they paid cash out of pocket. Anything else would have left a record with the insurance company.That is, unless a good attorney could tell me that you can't go to the ER under a false name. You see, I don't have that training or knowledge.
This has been the story of my life post high school, however. When they want to access me, I'm usually shot with tranquilizer darts or given some type of drug through a drink under normal seeming circumstances by a friend or family member. There are rarely warnings and the few times I've woken up in advance and run, Mark is usually there to V2K me with information that makes me turn around and take whatever punishment they intend to give.
I wonder sometimes about the technology since it wasn't like they hadn't told me how they intended to keep me trapped. What I mean by that is that it's entirely possible that my experience of a voice in my head was simply an altar repeating what they had been told to say at the time they were triggered and programmed to do it. But I also can't say that it didn't feel weird and like it was coming from outside of me. The voice telling me to turn my car around and go back to their location. It's very surreal when this happens. Others would not understand it but it is so familiar to me since birth that it's hard not to follow orders.
My current thoughts on this are about how difficult it makes it to contact law enforcement. There have been instances where I have called 911 yet the police and EMS appeared to be paid off or in on it. They would show up at my apartment and follow the cult orders and not do anything that resulted in me being able to file charges against anyone.
I think the pressure on survivors to be the sole disclosers of truth is a pretty crap thing. What are your thoughts?
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