The C.I.A. agents who handled me were also researchers. They were interested in synesthesia and eidetic memory and possible links between the two. I can guess from my own experience that at least one application of their experiments is a silent communication system between agents. A friend reminded me the other day of the word they use for this: "flashing". If you're being interviewed (ahem, interrogated) they will ask "What are you flashing on?"
Soon after this friend mentioned this to me I started to recover some fragments of one of my handlers asking me this through a series of questions. For example, and I almost feel like I've got to be making this up because it's ridiculous, I was asked "Where do you think the blueprints are stored? What do you flash on?" "They're in a vault at Prince's house." "Prince is not blue, he's purple." "No, Prince is black, his clothes are purple." "Exactly. That's all for now."
So right away we have some type of encrypted message which I assume I only hold a part of through the color codes and word play. This is something they are very fond of and I can see how an operative with synesthesia might be ideal as a courier. I know that both in my mind's eye when my eyes are closed and even when open that I have a lot of random information stored. Letters, numbers, diagrams, pictures, videos, logic sequences, silent directives, you name it.
I can remember an experiment they did to 'upload' some of this information into me. One of my handlers had thought a lot about the visual field and how what we see with our eyes often leaves an after-image when we close them. The effect is stronger and longer lasting when the image is high-contrast. She developed a computer program that was like a screensaver that showed a set of shapes she'd chosen as faint, white images floating on a pitch black screen. I can remember having to watch them while under a combo of drugs and hypnosis.
I'm flashing on what looks like two separate memories about this. I can see myself sitting next to her in front of the computer monitor. The shapes are floating by and she's explaining something to me about it but I can't recall that just yet. In fact, I think she said that to me as 'an order'. In a second memory, it seemed they had some kind of virtual reality headset type thing that could display the same information and I had to lay on my bed while wearing it. But I know that they had my mom stand there and ask about what I was seeing, so it may be they just had something on me that mimicked having my eyes closed and I had to stare into that and tell them if I could see the shapes previously 'burnt in' by the computer monitor.
I'm not sure at this point whether there were other sessions or whether what she did actually became something my brain learned to do with color images all on its own. I think I tend towards the latter. All I know is that when I close my eyes there is always a flurry of these white, silhouetted images of shapes like rectangles and squares to begin. If I pay attention to it I start to get a very rapid and ephemeral series of other images: letters, numbers, buildings, random horse racing across my mind's eye in white and gold. Sometimes they flash and fade other times they float at different angles as they fade. What's interesting, though, is that *faces* of people are always in color. I don't know who it is I'm seeing but I do get flashes of unknown faces at times.
Well, this post has written itself in a way I didn't expect. I had intended to talk a bit more about their use of music and art in programming; however, those topics may illuminate what's going on better if I write about them from a different perspective. You the reader will be able to fill in some gaps yourself and understand the programming intuitively if you study these last three blog posts. That's all for now! ;-)
Monday, December 18, 2017
Friday, December 15, 2017
Sight, Sound and Memory Expiriments: Pt.1
Today I'd like to share my memories of various 'tests' my handlers gave me as a child. It appears there is something different about the brains of a lot of us who are chosen for MK Ultra programs.
The earliest memory I can retrieve right now is from around the age of 4 or 5, I believe. I know I was verbal but still small enough to beheld like a baby. My mom took me to a stranger's house and there in the living room was a group of about 12 people, very well-dressed, serious and important-looking.
Each person in the room told me their name one at a time and then I was put to sleep for a while. Upon waking, I was in my mother's arms and all the people stood around waiting for me to tell them their name. I remember telling each one what I thought I remembered. I might end up remembering all of those names again but right now what I recall is that there was a trick test there. They had a William Brooks II and a William Brooks III. The thing is, they weren't actually related to each other at all. They distinguished themselves by their jobs. One of them was a geriatric psychiatrist and the other 'held the checkbook for General Electric', in their words.
I'm having a hard time remembering what William Brooks III looked like and don't want to search for a picture of him until I feel like I've already formed an image in my mind. However, what I recall of William Brooks II turns out to be accurate and, in fact, his picture shown in his obituary looks exactly like what I remember. Big glasses and that big forehead he calmly nodded towards me when I said his name:
William Brooks II
Once I was done naming everyone, a man on the couch began speaking on behalf of the group. I don't know who he meant when he said "we" but his exact words were "We believe this to be the return of Elijah." Don't worry! I don't believe that crud for a second. I think it was programming. I think they already understood that my memory was above average and set this up for a reason.
Moving on, I have another memory of my mom and I sitting together in my closet as she arranged a deck of what's known as 'Zenner' cards. The cards had simple pictures on them. Things like cherries, ladders, horseshoe magnets, etc. I'm trying to remember how we started off..maybe 12 cards and then moving up to 20 or more. She would show me each card in the current deck order once and then have me repeat what I just saw. I seemed to be remembering in perfect order. She decided to shuffle a few of them and somehow I was able to hold the last sequence in my mind well enough to know which card moved where
This seemed to disturb her. She said "Honey, these cards are not see-through", in a tone of frustrated concern, which I found very odd. "What's the big deal?", I thought. I think I understand now that the big deal was the next level of programming based on the results of the test. The next level involved associating that sequence of cards visually with objects in my bedroom. Perhaps cherries go on the longest wall and the ladder goes over the bed, for example.
I was allowed to make a few of my own associations right away and was told that my handler was going to be reinforcing this card sequence with each trauma. I don't understand the psychology behind this but can speculate perhaps that it was like creating a mirror image of memories. It is somewhat traumatic in a sense to have such a weird experience with one's mother. From there, my mind was alert and open to suggestion for anything my handler wanted to layer in with her notion of associating the cards to objects in the room that would also serve as anchor points in trauma memory.
If you are interested in this subject, stay tuned for part two. I'll expand on these concepts a bit more and try to include some pictures for teaching and reference.
The earliest memory I can retrieve right now is from around the age of 4 or 5, I believe. I know I was verbal but still small enough to beheld like a baby. My mom took me to a stranger's house and there in the living room was a group of about 12 people, very well-dressed, serious and important-looking.
Each person in the room told me their name one at a time and then I was put to sleep for a while. Upon waking, I was in my mother's arms and all the people stood around waiting for me to tell them their name. I remember telling each one what I thought I remembered. I might end up remembering all of those names again but right now what I recall is that there was a trick test there. They had a William Brooks II and a William Brooks III. The thing is, they weren't actually related to each other at all. They distinguished themselves by their jobs. One of them was a geriatric psychiatrist and the other 'held the checkbook for General Electric', in their words.
I'm having a hard time remembering what William Brooks III looked like and don't want to search for a picture of him until I feel like I've already formed an image in my mind. However, what I recall of William Brooks II turns out to be accurate and, in fact, his picture shown in his obituary looks exactly like what I remember. Big glasses and that big forehead he calmly nodded towards me when I said his name:
William Brooks II
Once I was done naming everyone, a man on the couch began speaking on behalf of the group. I don't know who he meant when he said "we" but his exact words were "We believe this to be the return of Elijah." Don't worry! I don't believe that crud for a second. I think it was programming. I think they already understood that my memory was above average and set this up for a reason.
Moving on, I have another memory of my mom and I sitting together in my closet as she arranged a deck of what's known as 'Zenner' cards. The cards had simple pictures on them. Things like cherries, ladders, horseshoe magnets, etc. I'm trying to remember how we started off..maybe 12 cards and then moving up to 20 or more. She would show me each card in the current deck order once and then have me repeat what I just saw. I seemed to be remembering in perfect order. She decided to shuffle a few of them and somehow I was able to hold the last sequence in my mind well enough to know which card moved where
This seemed to disturb her. She said "Honey, these cards are not see-through", in a tone of frustrated concern, which I found very odd. "What's the big deal?", I thought. I think I understand now that the big deal was the next level of programming based on the results of the test. The next level involved associating that sequence of cards visually with objects in my bedroom. Perhaps cherries go on the longest wall and the ladder goes over the bed, for example.
I was allowed to make a few of my own associations right away and was told that my handler was going to be reinforcing this card sequence with each trauma. I don't understand the psychology behind this but can speculate perhaps that it was like creating a mirror image of memories. It is somewhat traumatic in a sense to have such a weird experience with one's mother. From there, my mind was alert and open to suggestion for anything my handler wanted to layer in with her notion of associating the cards to objects in the room that would also serve as anchor points in trauma memory.
If you are interested in this subject, stay tuned for part two. I'll expand on these concepts a bit more and try to include some pictures for teaching and reference.
Friday, December 8, 2017
Side Effects and Dangers of Blogging
Ah, programs and memory fragmentation! I knew I'd been told not to write that post about artificial intelligence, but didn't remember the 'punishment' until it actually started happening last night. Some combination of physical factors that my handlers created before the fact finally came together to cause what Bush described as the "jerking" sensation. He said I was a jerk to write about AI, much less mention him, so he was getting me to get jerked awake all night and have a series of weird, stressful dreams about something he called "Cyber Brigade vs. Super Soldiers".
I'm not sure if the problems I experienced last night were from allergies, a sinus infection or something else. I have had the jerking sensation before. Usually I'm not fully asleep when it happens. Anyways, it's never been quite as bad as it was last night. I woke up around 1:00 a.m. and could already tell my body didn't want to go back to sleep. There was no comfortable position to lay in. Every little thing seemed to hurt or fall asleep. I felt a weird pressure behind my eyes at times. My mind raced with images and words, ghost pictures of things I don't if I've ever seen before. Every time I relaxed at all my body suddenly switched to panic mode. This went for 3 or 4 hours before I finally fell asleep and started having very detailed and frustrating dreams.
Here's where it gets weirder today: I've also had just one part of a song repeating in my head over and over and it's driving me crazy. This morning I had a flashback to 5th grade. My handler worked at my school as the computer science teacher for a few years and did some of her programming in the classroom. I suddenly remembered her talking about this artist, whose name I won't mention. She said I would have trouble getting this person's voice out of my head. She described how she was deleting various programming loops and that this 'earworm' type repetitive torture was her way of keeping me deaf to most of the programming being done in her classroom.
I guess right now I'm just amazed that I remember this at all because it was just one day back in 1985. But my brain has been doing this every morning for a while now. The most random seeming fragments from almost any time I focus on are willing to present themselves. The human mind is indeed a mystery!
I'm not sure if the problems I experienced last night were from allergies, a sinus infection or something else. I have had the jerking sensation before. Usually I'm not fully asleep when it happens. Anyways, it's never been quite as bad as it was last night. I woke up around 1:00 a.m. and could already tell my body didn't want to go back to sleep. There was no comfortable position to lay in. Every little thing seemed to hurt or fall asleep. I felt a weird pressure behind my eyes at times. My mind raced with images and words, ghost pictures of things I don't if I've ever seen before. Every time I relaxed at all my body suddenly switched to panic mode. This went for 3 or 4 hours before I finally fell asleep and started having very detailed and frustrating dreams.
Here's where it gets weirder today: I've also had just one part of a song repeating in my head over and over and it's driving me crazy. This morning I had a flashback to 5th grade. My handler worked at my school as the computer science teacher for a few years and did some of her programming in the classroom. I suddenly remembered her talking about this artist, whose name I won't mention. She said I would have trouble getting this person's voice out of my head. She described how she was deleting various programming loops and that this 'earworm' type repetitive torture was her way of keeping me deaf to most of the programming being done in her classroom.
I guess right now I'm just amazed that I remember this at all because it was just one day back in 1985. But my brain has been doing this every morning for a while now. The most random seeming fragments from almost any time I focus on are willing to present themselves. The human mind is indeed a mystery!
Thursday, December 7, 2017
Artificial Intelligence and End Times Prophecies
A friend of mine posted this earlier today on Facebook:
AI God by 2029
Although she didn't know that it would trigger my memories I feel like this is a good example of the human/humane AI logic my handlers set up. Survivors may not always recognize each other's host personalities but many times their alters recognize each other. So, first I want to say thank you to that part of her that took an interest in this subject and posted about it. This is going to be important for a lot of reasons, if only I can find the right words to explain it all!
Things are coming to pass just as I believe I was told they would. I have only my memories to go on. Sometimes I don't feel credible to others because I need the cues to retrieve certain things. That makes it look like I'm claiming to know something after the fact. If I had been talking about the A.I. beast before this, I'd be a lot more believable. But I wasn't talking about it. I was only thinking about it. Trying to wrap my intellect around it. Not just my academic intellect but my heart wisdom and my feelings as someone raised in an Episcopal mindset.
That said, here is the first set of memories this has triggered....a lot of programming took place in my life and there are certain ages that are always highlighted in my mind...7, 10, 16...those were very heavy programming years that involved a lot of contact with higher ups such as the Bushes, Clintons, British royalty, communist spies, the list goes on. It was Bush Snr. who spoke of "rapture impatience" and the idea of bringing Satan to life artificially, essentially just forcing the issue.
He pointed to two very important times: 2020 and 2029. 2029 is indeed the deadline according to what I believe he said to me. 2020 is our last chance to stop it. He said what we had to have by 2020 is massive disclosure. If we can bring the truth to light by 2020 we can stop this program, otherwise things are going to get pretty nasty.
What are the dangers of an A.I. anti-christ? What are the principles on which such a thing would operate? This is where I feel my upbringing as a typical stodgy Anglican skeptic has some real value. If you don't know much about Episcopalians, one key thing about us is that God is a rock which never wavers. Secondly, there will be tests, "fake raptures" if you will, each one teaching us how to communicate more clearly with truth. Even so, we understand that even an invented or artificially created rapture may still be a disaster.
But these are the lessons time and again, aren't they? Variations on experiences of hell without the ultimate end coming to pass. Think of the hell our ancestors went through across the world when they waged war. Think of the survivors of the Holocaust. Think of those people who didn't know what hit them when the United States dropped the hydrogen bomb on Hiroshima. Think of the people in India today who are living in cities so polluted they are just as bad as gas chambers. All of these are conditions that mimic hell.
These tragedies are engineered willfully in our prejudices and lack of emotional insight. You must be by definition neurologically possessed if your anger or bitterness leads you to slaughter millions of innocent people for some ideology that will someday pass away just like all the rest. The architects of the fake rapture know this and they continue anyways. It's an experiment for them. They sense that they could hasten the end times by intentionally creating the conditions described in The Bible.
Some would say "Well that must be what The Bible was describing. It must have warned us that other people would bring in the anti christ." Again, my faith says "No, not really." All they can do is bring in conditions that mimic hell. They can create the hell of poverty, the hell of pollution, the hell of war, the hell of famine and on and on. But no matter what they do, they cannot provoke God to act before the time is right.
That said, what are we really talking about here? God is not going to leave us unprepared. Every brush with death is a lesson. Is this AI machine really the devil? No, it's only an imitation. But that doesn't mean it isn't preparing us and teaching us. Imagine that everything you do in daily life is tracked and quantified and matched with a product. That is what this AI will do. It is an advertiser's dream come true. Total control of the products you use to live each day. Everything from food to toilet paper.
It will know your likes and dislikes based on life experience, location, education, job title, etc. It will deliver news and products to you based on those preferences. It will track the purchases made with your debit or credit card to understand whether you were just running errands or going on an emotion-fueled shopping spree in response to certain stimuli. There is a profile for battered women shoppers. There is a profile for newly out of the closet gay man shoppers. There is a profile for just had a baby shoppers. There is an impulse purchase profile for everyone and there is a long term beliefs profile for everyone.
That's pretty creepy but here is where it actually gets Satanic. Let's say that the woman in the abusive relationship is sent coupons for "Hugs n' Comfort Diapers". Now you are advertising to her emotional poverty through the emotional manipulation of her relationship with her child. Let's say you are a gay man. Now you get ads for HIV drugs, condoms and gluten free crackers. The assumptions about your lifestyle make you wonder if you *should* find a reason to buy these products. Your mind fills the gaps in on its own.
But that's not all. Let's say the A.I. becomes the registrar of everything you do. It timestamps your enrollment into primary school, your first driver's license, first date, first day at college, etc, etc. and it delivers advertising targeted to your situation and also makes it easy for you since all of your financial accounts are hooked in. It's just as easy as saying "Alexa, sign me up for nursing school" and you are immediately matched and billed for a program in your community.
What this does is take the architecture of your own decision making and put it into someone else's hands based on an algorithm. It strips your life of the value of randomness and fate and shoves you square in to what's easy.For some people this might not be a bad thing. For the rest of us, though, we may need to do that road trip first or think about things a while.
I feel like I've barely scratched the surface of this but I guess I'll come back with another post!
AI God by 2029
Although she didn't know that it would trigger my memories I feel like this is a good example of the human/humane AI logic my handlers set up. Survivors may not always recognize each other's host personalities but many times their alters recognize each other. So, first I want to say thank you to that part of her that took an interest in this subject and posted about it. This is going to be important for a lot of reasons, if only I can find the right words to explain it all!
Things are coming to pass just as I believe I was told they would. I have only my memories to go on. Sometimes I don't feel credible to others because I need the cues to retrieve certain things. That makes it look like I'm claiming to know something after the fact. If I had been talking about the A.I. beast before this, I'd be a lot more believable. But I wasn't talking about it. I was only thinking about it. Trying to wrap my intellect around it. Not just my academic intellect but my heart wisdom and my feelings as someone raised in an Episcopal mindset.
That said, here is the first set of memories this has triggered....a lot of programming took place in my life and there are certain ages that are always highlighted in my mind...7, 10, 16...those were very heavy programming years that involved a lot of contact with higher ups such as the Bushes, Clintons, British royalty, communist spies, the list goes on. It was Bush Snr. who spoke of "rapture impatience" and the idea of bringing Satan to life artificially, essentially just forcing the issue.
He pointed to two very important times: 2020 and 2029. 2029 is indeed the deadline according to what I believe he said to me. 2020 is our last chance to stop it. He said what we had to have by 2020 is massive disclosure. If we can bring the truth to light by 2020 we can stop this program, otherwise things are going to get pretty nasty.
What are the dangers of an A.I. anti-christ? What are the principles on which such a thing would operate? This is where I feel my upbringing as a typical stodgy Anglican skeptic has some real value. If you don't know much about Episcopalians, one key thing about us is that God is a rock which never wavers. Secondly, there will be tests, "fake raptures" if you will, each one teaching us how to communicate more clearly with truth. Even so, we understand that even an invented or artificially created rapture may still be a disaster.
But these are the lessons time and again, aren't they? Variations on experiences of hell without the ultimate end coming to pass. Think of the hell our ancestors went through across the world when they waged war. Think of the survivors of the Holocaust. Think of those people who didn't know what hit them when the United States dropped the hydrogen bomb on Hiroshima. Think of the people in India today who are living in cities so polluted they are just as bad as gas chambers. All of these are conditions that mimic hell.
These tragedies are engineered willfully in our prejudices and lack of emotional insight. You must be by definition neurologically possessed if your anger or bitterness leads you to slaughter millions of innocent people for some ideology that will someday pass away just like all the rest. The architects of the fake rapture know this and they continue anyways. It's an experiment for them. They sense that they could hasten the end times by intentionally creating the conditions described in The Bible.
Some would say "Well that must be what The Bible was describing. It must have warned us that other people would bring in the anti christ." Again, my faith says "No, not really." All they can do is bring in conditions that mimic hell. They can create the hell of poverty, the hell of pollution, the hell of war, the hell of famine and on and on. But no matter what they do, they cannot provoke God to act before the time is right.
That said, what are we really talking about here? God is not going to leave us unprepared. Every brush with death is a lesson. Is this AI machine really the devil? No, it's only an imitation. But that doesn't mean it isn't preparing us and teaching us. Imagine that everything you do in daily life is tracked and quantified and matched with a product. That is what this AI will do. It is an advertiser's dream come true. Total control of the products you use to live each day. Everything from food to toilet paper.
It will know your likes and dislikes based on life experience, location, education, job title, etc. It will deliver news and products to you based on those preferences. It will track the purchases made with your debit or credit card to understand whether you were just running errands or going on an emotion-fueled shopping spree in response to certain stimuli. There is a profile for battered women shoppers. There is a profile for newly out of the closet gay man shoppers. There is a profile for just had a baby shoppers. There is an impulse purchase profile for everyone and there is a long term beliefs profile for everyone.
That's pretty creepy but here is where it actually gets Satanic. Let's say that the woman in the abusive relationship is sent coupons for "Hugs n' Comfort Diapers". Now you are advertising to her emotional poverty through the emotional manipulation of her relationship with her child. Let's say you are a gay man. Now you get ads for HIV drugs, condoms and gluten free crackers. The assumptions about your lifestyle make you wonder if you *should* find a reason to buy these products. Your mind fills the gaps in on its own.
But that's not all. Let's say the A.I. becomes the registrar of everything you do. It timestamps your enrollment into primary school, your first driver's license, first date, first day at college, etc, etc. and it delivers advertising targeted to your situation and also makes it easy for you since all of your financial accounts are hooked in. It's just as easy as saying "Alexa, sign me up for nursing school" and you are immediately matched and billed for a program in your community.
What this does is take the architecture of your own decision making and put it into someone else's hands based on an algorithm. It strips your life of the value of randomness and fate and shoves you square in to what's easy.For some people this might not be a bad thing. For the rest of us, though, we may need to do that road trip first or think about things a while.
I feel like I've barely scratched the surface of this but I guess I'll come back with another post!
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