Waking Up: Could You Be a Monarch Survivor?

A powerful video testimony posted by a friend reminded me of the time I was still sleeping, having once known of my situation and then saw it covered up again. Even that's not totally accurate since I continued to be accessed through my 30's. I was always going through "knowing" and "not knowing".  This is what it's like to lead a double life, essentially dealing with a split personality that shares the fragments between two sides 

For instance, I can remember a day in my late 20's when I paused in a reflective mood, smiled and enjoyed the realization that I had not, to my knowledge, been raped in the past 2 years. If I had even thought of such a thing at another time it would've seemed ridiculous or induced a panic that shoved the questions away. 

In a similar fashion, I enjoyed shows such as Coast 2 Coast AM that covered esoteric subjects such as MK Ultra. I remember being very interested in the subject at times and doing internet research on the topic. A part of me would read the words and think "Yeah, I think this might have happened to me." Then I eventually became too triggered and would drop the subject for a while. 

How telling, though! If you'd asked me at any time prior to my 20's I could've told you all about it. I could keep the memories closer to the surface then for, I hypothesize, two reasons:

1. They were still relatively fresh by the mere fact of not being as far back in time or developmentally.

2. The structure of my life supported that type of recall. I was a mere high school student living in a rural area with not much to do but think and write.

What I'm driving at here is that if YOU can relate to this or if you ever ask yourself "Why am I interested in this topic?" it is a very good indication that you may have a hidden history. These programs are so covered up and so designed to seem far-fetched to truly average, un-involved people that it's virtually diagnostic of survivorship to have an interest in the topic.

I know that's a bold statement. You don't have to take action or look inside if it feels wrong to you. If it feels wrong, then you aren't ready. But I do encourage those who feel ready and able to explore to continue to research this, watch the video testimonies of other survivors, keep a journal of your feelings and thoughts and reactions. You may begin to uncover a story of your own.