Through sheer luck I was led to a site that put the scientific word to a phenomenon I'm well acquainted with and which contributed to a large amount of my government programming and memory recovery: Pareidolia. Pareidolia (also sometimes called 'Matrixing') is the phenomenon of seeing faces in things like trees, rocks, clouds, brick, etc. There is also an auditory counterpart.
It is well worth your time to read the entire Wiki on the subject:
Pareidolia
Now, in the context of MK Ultra, it was actually through an encouragement and training towards practicing pareidolia that I first learned about 'monarch programming'. My mother and I were laying on the grass in the front yard and looking at the clouds. She started teaching me to find faces, animals, all sorts of shapes. Then she told me that my older siblings had both been required to do a 'school project' of capturing monarch butterflies. I can't remember the whole conversation but I definitely got the impression that she wasn't talking about flying insects.
This learning was quickly trauma reinforced a few days later through a series of sexual assaults in rooms with busy wall paper. One of the assaults took place in a friend's house in the bathroom where the green-gold wall paper resembled lichen. When I mentioned this to someone in-the-know in my teen years she said it's because of the spelling: lichen=liken. What are you "likening" this experience to or "what, are you liking it, too?"
Over time, this simple blip of the brain is used by the intel agencies to store information. They tell you what faces to see, what writing to see, what sounds to hear so that they are like little conscious anchor points sticking out of each trauma iceberg. Although this may not be precise, it is somewhat like implanting a Rorschach test for later retrieval.
One retrieval tool I was taught to use is art. You can create your own field on which to project your subconscious simply by covering a section of paper with pencil. Shade a solid spot, erase part of it, shade over again at a different angle. Usually, the more you wear the paper out with repeated erasing and shading, the better. When you start to see forms and thin lines as you erase (they'll look like they're well worn and not erasable), this is usually when you start to notice something interesting. Just play with it from there.
I ended up going a step further due to additional programming my handlers did involving what they called "process pictures". There were pictures I drew as a child and teen that were anchored to specific sets of trauma memories. I did not remember them. That is, until I went from plain pencil shading to playing with other types of visual suggestion.
Initially, I felt great joy and satisfaction as I realized that I might someday be at least as good at visual art as my mom. However, in a classic CIA punch to the gut and ego, I quickly began to recognize these drawings as recreations from the past. It was as if they'd taken over my mind to the point I couldn't come up with any ideas for a subject without it ending up being one of these trauma pictures.
Not only that, one of the images was used while I was working on it as an attempt to trigger surveillance paranoia. I was sitting out at night on the patio (this is back when I still lived in Austin with a friend) and the porch light was on. I was enjoying the cool spring air while I worked on a pencil drawing involving fancy dressed cats walking through downtown.
I decided to be clever I would have them walking past "Katz's Deli". Katz's had two locations in Austin and the owner even ran for mayor one time. It was a 24 hour restaurant and it's motto was "Katz's Never Kloses'. Well, unfortunately, they did end up closing their famous downtown location.
As a joke I added a sign on my drawing that said "Katz's: Klosed".
Well, at the exact moment I did that, this group of guys a few yards away busted out into raucous laughter. I have no idea how this type of synchronicity is achieved in the program, but Occam's Razor would suggest it is probably a lot easier to achieve by actually putting me under surveillance.
It seems now that my handlers must not have wanted me to worry about whether people were watching me. My first reaction at the time was to look up. I had my sketchpad on my lap and due to that and lighting conditions, the only place a camera would capture what I was doing would had to have been right above me. I didn't see anything.
So, I started trying to "fill in the gaps" and that's when I remembered them telling me that I was so suggestible and robotic that they didn't need cameras or tracking in order to gangstalk me and do street theater. They made me believe that I was so robotic that I'd just show up where they needed me to be, even when I thought I was tricking them by doing things like going against my first impulse, altering my routines, etc.
That phase of the triggering was definitely hard for me. I knew I was being sensitized and it made me feel psychotically anxious. At the same time, though, I was kind of clinically fascinated with myself and very motivated to get to the truth and through the program because I understood it on a deep level to be a matter of life and death.
I think I might talk about this phase of my awakening in more depth in the next post. I feel I might be able to reverse engineer some of the negative advantages they gained in terms of, pardon my French, royally mind-fucking me. And that might even help some other people, too!
** I guess I should mention...this post, like many of my posts, is actually a "process post". Most of what I tell you all is something I already wrote as a teenager. I had some Canadian researchers talking to me about this at one point. "Coincidentally" then someone +1d me on my last post whose profile pic looked a lot like one of those Canadian Drs. Totally coincidence, of course......***thpptt!***
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